The Present Moment

- my submission to Smith Magazine's The Moment -
stories of how a single moment changed your life in a profound way

I was always told, “You take things too literally”.  Well, this time, I certainly did.  I never went on vacation alone before.  “It will be an adventure” does not begin to explain just what happened…

Being a fitness enthusiast and having experimented with homeopathic and naturopathic medicine, I decided to go to New Age Health Spa in Upper New York State for my annual vacation.  I chose a week that would not interfere with my work as a Sr. Financial Accountant.  That pretty much means the third week of the month for those of you not familiar with the procedures needed to “close the books”.  After jotting it in my day planner months ahead of time, it wasn’t until…

When I checked my reservations online a few days before, I saw the advertisement that would change my life…

Adventure Quest Weekend coincidentally fell within the dates of my scheduled trip.  A trip I would never forget.  Looking at the list of activities there was just one that I thought I would never dream of attempting – The five-story outdoor adventure, the Alpine Tower Climb.  I cowered as I looked at the image with the swinging logs and rope ladders and way too few footholds. Showing the picture to my work colleagues, we unanimously agreed – a feat that my feet would never see.

However, the moment happened.  Surviving past trauma, I had horrific nightmares every single night for over 13 years.  This trip was to restore my faith in myself and others.  Being a perfectionist, it was all or nothing.  That’s the attitude I took when at the last minute, I signed up for final culminating event of the weekend, the Alpine Tower Climb.  Reflecting on the upcoming challenge, I was using positive self affirmations, as always, before I went to bed when the moment happened.  That night, I had a dream where I successfully ascended to the top.  In my dream, the suspension rope was made of cylindrical beads, much like the jump rope I used in gym glass.  The dream showed me that if I just slid a few beads down at a time instead of trying to move them all, I would then have room to place my feet.   Not true to life, but it spurred an idea to break things down into smaller pieces.  The morning came and I was amazed that I finally had a good dream.  Anything was possible.

I met all the participants, and awaited training instructions.  We precariously balanced ourselves on the roughly four foot high beams that were on the bottom of the structure.  This was boot camp.  The group of us honed our skills as we tossed balls, walked around with our eyes closed holding hands, and much more.  We learned how to hold the suspension rope and belay meaning where I had to place my precious trust in someone I didn’t know.  It was a leap of faith.

After about two hours of drills, we were ready to climb.  With caution and excitement, it was finally my turn.  I was partially up and looked far and wide for my next step.  I didn’t want to look up to see how far I had to go and I certainly didn’t want to look down to see how far I’d fall.  Right then, just at that moment, I developed my life long mantra.  “I am where I am, it will get me to where I need to be”.  From that moment on, I stared straight ahead, being in the present moment.   Moving up and across the Tower, I remembered to breathe.  I repeated the mantra and just when I thought I wasn’t going to make it, I was at the top.  What a view! What a day! What a night! 

But that wasn’t the end of the adventure… Successfully getting to the top actually meant very little to me; it was the success of all our teamwork and practice on the bottom that created bonds and trust that really paid dividends.  I was finally able to trust others and trust myself.  You might say I had many moments during this trip, but there was only one – the Present Moment!